Just how bad can my dating life get?

My last date was in August and lately I am feeling a little bit restless and lonely. I usually hate dating, a fact most of my ex-girlfriends will confirm, but I think I might be ready to meet someone and actually pursue a romantic relationship.

The past few weeks I have spoken with several friends on this topic and many have suggested that I should use an online dating service. I have always rejected this advice because I think using personal ads is for losers but desperate times call for desperate measures.

So tonight I finally break down and decide to join eharmony because I have heard good things about the site and because it has a moral component to it. I spent over an hour answering all 1000 questions for my personality profile only to learn at the end that they have no matches for me. Here is the actually wording from their site:

'Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time."

Good grief. Does it get any worse than getting rejected by a dating service? Couldn't they just just take my money and set me up with women who aren't my matches? Are there really
no women for me even in cyberspace?

When I read that I had no matches I actually burst into laughter at my unfortunate predicament. It was either that or break down into tears because even the dreaded world of internet dating can't help me find someone. I mean it's not like my hopes were that high but I at least figured they would try to set me up with somebody. I would have even settled for an unattractive, obnoxious, liberal, high school drop out. Anything would be better than nothing.

I guess the search continues and at least now I can tell all my friends that I tried their advice. Anybody have any other ideas?

A tradition of losing since 1957

Yesterday my brother gave me a free ticket to go the Lions game in Detroit. It was a fun afternoon and I enjoyed spending time with Vince and another buddy of his. The game itself wasn't that much fun. It fact it was painful to watch but I kept staring to see just how bad it was. Kind of like checking out a car accident. I knew Detroit was in for a long day when they fumbled the opening kickoff. They held them to a field goal but it was the closest the Lions would get the rest of the game.

To protest team management many Lions fans wore orange which was the color of the Bengals. It was funny to see so much orange in the stadium. It looked more like a home game for the Bengals instead of the Lions. And actually I would say there probably were more Cincinnati fans than Detroit or it was awfully close. After decades of futility the Bengal fans sure are excited. We'll see how loud they are after a quick exit from the playoffs this year. But at least they are in the playoffs which is more than the Lions can say.

Before the game about 1000 people marched outside the stadium protesting Matt Millen who is the team's general manager. Since he took charge the team has the worst record in the league. It's been 5 straight 10 loss seasons and what do the Lions do but reward him with a contract extension. I read in the media guide that all but three of the players on the Lions roster were brought in directly by Millen so he doesn't have anybody to blame but himself. During the game their were lots of chants to fire Millen and dozens of people holding fire Millen signs or wearing T-shirts in protest. Things got so ugly during the second half that even the Bengal fans started waiving the signs and joining in the fire Millen chant. To learn more about Matt Millen's failures go to http://firemillen.com

If Millen had any self respect he would resign this morning and if the Ford's had any respect for the fans they would fire him. The fans of Detroit deserve better.

Til Midnight

Last night was a long day as the Senate wrapped up our legislation session for the year. We started at 10:00 am and usually a long session day goes until the early afternoon. Not yesterday; instead we didn't finish until after midnight. We spent most of the time waiting for the House to send us bills that they were working on and needed our vote before the end of the year. I was there mostly to keep an eye on a couple of projects in the budget, one of which the Governor has vetoed twice already and will likely veto again this year.

Late night sessions are an interesting dynamic. Senators and staff start to get a little stir crazy after a while. A group of Senator's played euchre to pass the time. Other Senators closed their eyes to take cat naps while we waited for some action. Some staffers took bets on the exact time the Senate would adjourn while another male staffer surfed Victoria's Secret website presumably Christmas shopping for his wife or girlfriend. Speaking of Christmas there was a spirited debate on the Senate floor over whether the tree in front of the Capitol is really a Christmas tree or a Holiday tree. Perhaps the highlight of the night was Sen. Switalski's annual holiday Limerick which was very funny and a little off-color as well.

On a serious note we did pass quite a few bills including tax cuts for job providers, welfare reform, a resolution to protect property owners from losing their property to imminent domain and a budget bill. All in all it was a pretty successful way to end the year.

Blockbuster Sucks

How many of you have recently gone to the video store to rent a movie only to find that there is nothing to watch? How could there be so many movies made and so many that are unwatchable? Either Hollywood makes stupid movies to cater to stupid audiences or consumers simply figure they have no choice and rent the first nonsense they find. I usually go back and forth among the aisles until I find a movie with a cool cover. Then after watching it I discover that the reason I had never heard of it was because it was a made for TV movie.

After years of movie rental futility I decided to plan ahead and have been creating lists of movies that I missed at the theater or that have been recommended to me. I read online lists of people's favorite movies or I jot down a title when it comes to mind so I won't forget it. Right now I have about 10-15 on my list and a majority of them are older films from the 80's and 90's.

The other day I go to Blockbuster with my new list in hand but I am having trouble finding the movies I came for. I realize that these movies are kind of old but not that old. But since I am in a bad mood I decide to spend considerable time browsing each genre trying to decide if Leaving Las Vegas is a classified under drama or classic. Well after several minutes I soon discover that that movie as well as all the other movies on my list are no longer carried by Blockbuster but have been replaced with about 300 copies of each crappy new release. I mean really how many people are running to the store to rent Stealth or Bewitched?

So instead of getting what I came for I ended up settling for Deuce Bigelow which was not that great really. In fact it's hard to believe that they made a sequel. To add insult to injury the cost was $3.50 to rent one lousy DVD.

I thought my list was the perfect remedy to avoid the predicament of renting bad movies but I have been thwarted by the rental industry itself. Now not only do I have to keep a list but I also have to find a rental store that actually carries those movies. Who knew finding quality entertainment could be this much work? Maybe I'll just watch reruns on TV instead.

Stuck

I just found out a good friend of mine is planning to get married. I am happy for her but why is it that other people's good news reminds me of the void of good news in my own life? As I lay in bed I kept thinking that I wish I had some new exciting things to share with someone but when I look at my life there isn't really much going on. Other people are getting married, moving to new cities, have new jobs, are part of church plants, having kids, etc. Me? I am stuck in the same old same old. It's like things just stopped a few years ago and I can't make the kind of decisions that allow me to take hold of what life has to offer. I can't seem to commit to the women I date and then regret when things don't work out. I can't muster the courage the quit my job but then complain about how bored and unfulfilling it is. I can't bring myself to look for a new church even though I know I've outlasted my service there. I can't invest in new friendships but then wish I had some single guy friends to hang out with. I can't bring myself to get my finances together to buy a house despite the fact that I am sick of my crappy apartment. So this morning I woke up and prayed for strength to step through the doors that God opens for me. I want the good things of life that I see other people experiencing. But for some reason I keep avoiding them.

Notre Dame and the BCS

I was listening to Mel Kiper on ESPN radio the other day and he made some stupid comment about how Notre Dame should be in the BCS championship game if both Texas and USC were to lose. First of all that's probably the dummest thing he's ever said and that's saying something since he once considered Trent Dilfer to be the best QB prospect in years. Not only does Notre Dame not deserve to play in a championship game but they shouldn't be in the BCS at all.

Their overall record is 9-2 which is respectable but no better than several other one and two loss teams that are more worthy for a BCS bowl bid most notably Oregon, Auburn and Miami. When you examine Notre Dame's record you learn that they have no real good wins over high ranked teams. Their best win was over a 7-4 Michigan team that was a big disappointment this year. Their only other wins over teams with winning records were BYU and Navy both of which finished barely above .500 with very easy schedules. In fact, the combined record of all the teams they beat this year is 42 wins vs 56 losses. The computer rates their strength of schedule at 88th in the country and it's only that high because of USC's record. And while most people laud Notre Dame for playing USC close since when did losing a close game against a good opponent make you a good team. The same Notre Dame apologists who say they deserve a BCS bid must have forgotten the Irish also lost to a below average Michigan State team.

The problem with Notre Dame is all the hype and mythology surrounding the program. Sure they were good back in the late 80's and early 90's but they have lost their last 7 bowl games and haven't won a bowl game since 1993. Can anybody even remember their last big win over a top 10 team? But you see it doesn't matter how good the Irish are because college football is all about money and Notre Dame is all about money.

Notre Dame and their selfish greed is exactly what's wrong with college football. The have their own TV contract and their own BCS agreement because they don't want to share any of the money they make with other schools. It's about time that someone in the NCAA stands up to Notre Dame and tells them they need to play by the same rules as other schools. But unfortunately until fans start to see through the fraud that is college football this will never happen.

Back from Pittsburgh

I had a good time over Thanksgiving weekend. My Brother, Mom and Stepdad drove to Pittsburgh to see my Grandpa, Aunt and Cousin. My family is a little odd sometimes. There are a lot of health issues and financial issues in the family and my poor Grandpa worries about everyone and my aunt is in denial of most of the problems to point where you have to tiptoe around the real issues and pretend nothing is wrong. It makes for a lot of uneasy conversations. It's sad when my immediate family is the most healthy part of the family tree. Having said that, I did enjoy seeing everybody again and I wish that I lived closer than 5 hours away.

Friday the men in the family went the Western Pa. sports museum which was very cool. Being an avid Pittsburgh sports fan it was like heaven being around so much memorabilia. I almost cried when they showed highlights of the 70's steelers and pirates on the big screen. I also enjoyed learning more about the history of the negro baseball leagues.

The next day we went to the crash site of flight 93 which went down on 9/11. It was interesting to see the area and very sad as well. They have a makeshift memorial at the site until they figure out what to build for the permanent reminder. My favorite part was a set of park benches with the names of each of the passenger and crew members. It's hard to imagine what would have happened had that plane made it to the final destination. When you look at where it crashed you couldn't have asked for a more isolated location. I am not a conspiracy theorist but it makes me wonder if we didn't shoot it down on purpose.

Now I am back to the real world so to speak and looking forward to my next vacation days which won't likely be until Christmas. It's hard to believe it's almost December. I guess I have to start Christmas shopping.

Giving Thanks

I am thankful to have rest of the week off from work so I can travel to Pittsburgh

I am thankful that I have a job with a lot of vacation time so I get to travel as often as I do

I am thankful that I have a job period

I am thankful for my coworker Jennie who has become a close friend

I am thankful for other Senate staffers who help make my job a lot easier

I am thankful to become friends with several democrats this year

I am thankful for living so close to my family

I am thankful that my teenage nephews still think I am cool enough to talk to

I am thankful for the board game Race for the Whitehouse because it gives my brother and I something to do together that we both enjoy

I am thankful that my Mom took a risk and started her own jewelry business

I am thankful that I keep in close contact with so many friends from college and high school

I am thankful for email and cell phones because it helps me keep in touch with those friends

I am thankful that I got to be in my buddy CJ's wedding

I am thankful that my friends Jon, Jason and Jason all found new jobs in their field

I am thankful for my friends in Lansing

I am thankful that they often feed me

I am thankful that I am still friends with my ex-girlfriend Michelle even though she is dating some other guy now

I am thankful for my church starting at 11:15

I am thankful that my church allows me to wrestle with my faith and my role in the church

I am thankful for my cat Freckles and that she is still healthy

I am thankful that I get to see a lot of live sporting events with my stepdad

I am thankful for Ben Roethlisberger and that his injury wasn't season ending

I am thankful that the Steelers are on TV as often as they are

I am thankful the Penguins drafted Sydney Crosby

I am thankful Michigan beat MSU in football or it would have been a really bad season

I am thankful to be reading CS Lewis in my office bookclub

I am thankful for all the members in my bookclub because we share a common faith

I am thankful to be part of the men's group at my church that read Wild at Heart this year

I am thankful it has inspired me to be more adventuresome and to live more courageously

I am thankful for gifted writers like John Eldridge and CS Lewis

I am thankful for my XM Radio

I am thankful for the Drudge Report

I am thankful that I started blogging this year

I am thankful people actual read my blog

I am thankful for other people's blogs

I am thankful for thanksgiving because it reminds me to be thankful

It's too darn hot

Last night as I was flipping the channels I came across a TBS special called Earth to America. It was one of the celebrity variety shows to highlight the problem of global warming. The opening Montage was George from Seinfeld dancing and singing it's too darn hot. It was totally cheesy and cracked me up. I guess he's never lived in Michigan where we sing it's too darn cold and cloudy.

The show got me to thinking about a book I have been reading called State of Fear by Michael Crichton. The book is basically an editorial against global warming disguised as a novel. He attempts to make the case that everything we know about global warming is simple fear tactics used by environmentalists to push their agenda. In the book he frequently makes fun of hollywood stars being duped into environmental causes. He couldn't have created a better example than Earth to America.

As someone who knows virtually nothing about science, I do not claim to know whether global warming is actually occurring or not. And if it is, what difference it really makes. But after reading Crichton's book it leads one to question the basic assumptions of what we think we know. If enough news reports, interests groups and celebrities say the world is getting warmer does that make it true? And if we question global warming what else are we being told that we should also question?

A Bad Day for Michigan

Yesterday was a terrible day for Michigan sports. Not only did Michigan blow a fourth quarter lead to Ohio State, but Michigan State looked pathetic against Penn St. So much for starting the season 4-0. Now both schools should seriously evaluate if Carr and Smith should return next year. Neither one of them got the best out of their team this year.

If that wasn't bad enough Michigan State's basketball team also lost to Hawaii. I thought they were supposed to be good this year. Oh well. I would hate to be at one of Izzo's practices this week. Good thing basketball unlike football is forgiving so they still have a chance to right the ship. Speaking of basketball, I guess the Pistons are not going unbeaten this year. I can understand losing on the road to Dallas but by 37 points.

Even the one team that Michigander's have come to depend on also lost yesterday. Yes the Red Wings continue their recent swoon by losing their fourth and a row. And this time to the crappy St Louis Blues. I didn't even know St Louis still had a hockey team.

Now our state's hope for winning anything this weekend rests with Lions and I am not counting on them beating the Cowboys. Heck I wouldn't even count on them beating either Ohio St or Penn St if they had to play them. But while things look bad at least I don't live Miami. They had an even worse day.

Kwame

Yesterday the city of Detroit held their Mayoral election and I cannot believe Kwame Kilpatrick won re-election. Kwame spent the entire campaign trailing his opponent and was behind 57-43 when I went to bed. I was very surprised when I woke up to find he had won and I have a hard time understanding how a man whose entire time in office has been defined by nothing but scandals actually won the voters approval. Granted his opponent wasn't the most charismatic person but why don't the residents of Detroit expect more out of their leadership. Detroit has a lot of tough issues that they need to face and quite frankly the Mayor's track record suggests he isn't up to the job. I have heard it said that voters get the kind of leader they deserve and so maybe Kwame's election is more an indictment on the city of Detroit than on himself. Who knows? On the plus side, I doubt he will be too inclined to help our Governor out in the next election since she refused to help him in this race. If Granholm can't get the vote out in Detroit (which will be difficult without Kwame's help) she is going to have a hard time winning re-election next year. Somewhere Dick Devos is smiling.

Gone with the wind

This past weekend, I had the privilege to travel to South Dakota and Minnesota to learn more about alternative engery and in particular wind energy. Minnesota has been very aggressive over the past decade in developing wind farms and currently have well over 600 turbines up and running. It's fascinating that ancient cultures used wind for power and yet we are just now rediscovering its use as we look to replace oil and coal as our main power staples.

For some reason Michigan is trailing other states when it comes to developing alternative energy and I am not sure why. In some parts of the state where wind farms are being discussed, many local people oppose them as a nuisance because they are loud and ugly to look at. While I was in Minnesota I was able to stand right at the basin of a turbin and it really isn't that noisy. And while you see them dotting the countryside, they are no more obtrusive than power lines.

Hopefully, once the first wind farm is up and running in Michigan, these misconceptions will be eliminated. While wind might not be the only answer to for increasing our state's renewable energy supply it should be part of our overall plan.

Sam's Club

The other day I had to go to Sam's Club to buy bottled water for event we are helping sponsor. Since I do not have my own membership, I decided to take the oportunity to do a little shopping for myself. It is truly an amazing store. They have almost everything anybody could ever want. However, it is not really designed for the bachelor's lifestyle. As much as I like mayonnaise I really don't need a 5 gallon jar of it. In the end I decided to load up on $80 worth of Mountain Dew and Egg Rolls hoping that supply will get me through the end of the month. And while I can justify my purchase, the whole experience of buying so much just struck me as expansive consumerism run amok. I mean I can afford it but what must poor starving people in the third world think when we have these huge grocery stores filled with food and they have very little. This is not a slam on big grocery chains but rather a question to our culture as to how much we take our wealth for granted. If I am hungry, I go get something to eat and don't even think about it. Others are not so blessed. I am not sure what the answer to global hunger is but I am going to start spending more attention to how I shop and I am certainly going to be more thankful for what I purchase.

October 31st

While many of us celebrate Halloween today I want to focus on another event that happened on October 31st which deserves equal attention. On October 31, 1517, a German monk named Martin Luther decided that several of the church's practices were incorrect and he decided to challenge the church on these practices. Specifically he opposed the payment for indulgences. Back in his day, the church believed that you had to achieve a certain level of good works to get into heaven. However, it was almost impossible to meet required number of good works so the church decided to create the idea of indulgences. Essentially, instead of doing the work you could pay the church and they would do the work for you but you would still get credited with it. I know this sounds like a ridiculous system but this was very commonplace in the medieval church.

Luther was so fed up with this practice that he decided to post on the door of his local church a list of 95 reasons why indulgences were not in compliance with the scriptures. His posting is often called the 95 thesis and is considered by most to be the beginning of the protestant reformation. Since I have a lot of time on my hands lately, I decided to actual read the 95 thesis and while the translation is a little stiff I noticed one key point that stuck out to me. While Luther was opposing indulgences he was actually using that practice as a way of challenging the entire notion of linking good works with salvation. He often went back and reemphasized that it is by grace that people are saved and not by works. Needless to say, the church did not respond too kindly to his posting and was driven from the church as a heretic. But nonetheless his message and courage reshaped the religious landscape in Europe and ultimately America.

So why should we care about what happened almost 500 years ago. Here's why; The church today has drifted back towards being more about rules and regulations than about God's grace for a dying world. People inside and outside the church both receive the same subliminal message that if you want to be a good Christian you have to comply with a certain set of lifestyle requirements. You should go to church, pay your tithe, read your bible, pray and maybe take an occasional missions trip. You should always avoid having sex before marriage, getting drunk, taking drugs, stealing, lying and a whole list of other activities depending on what type of church you go to. Complying with these behavioral traits is something that all Christians should strive to do but they don't define our Christianity or save us from our sins any more than buying an indulgence did.

Thankfully, there is a new emerging reformation going on in the church today. Many people in my generation have learned that adhering to a doctrine of works has left them unfulfilled spiritually. We want more out of church and our relationship with God. Instead of works, the emerging church is focusing on how to really connect with God and experience the grace and joy that he wants to offer us. Does this mean that a person can then do anything they want? No. But instead of focusing on works, the focus is on changing people's hearts so they will want to do what is pleasing to God. Not because they have to but because they want to please him.

While this movement is still fairly small and below the surface it is gaining momentum especially among younger post modern thinkers. Changing institutions and traditional practices is difficult to accomplish. We need to be patient and steadfast. If we compare it the reformation again, it should be noted that while historians date the beginning of the reformation in 1517, the seeds of reform were already spreading across Europe as early at the 1300's. Hopefully it will not take today's church several hundred years to reform itself but change takes time. I am thankful that at least there are those in the today's church that are posting their own critiques and that is what I will be celebrating today.

Top 10 signs you're at a bad Halloween party

The main event is bobbing for pumpkins

Your accountant entertains partygoers with scary stories of embezzling your money

The fat naked guy from Survivor shows up and wins best costume

For the scary movie they show Roseanne Barr; the early years

The person in the Michael Jackson costume is in charge of babysitting the kids

Instead of candy corn it's candy asparagus

The prize for best costume is a first edition of Uncle Fester's Halloweenopoly

Your date is seen doing the Monster Mash with Rosie O'Donnell look a like

People compliment you on how funny your costume is even though you forgot to wear one.

The guy dressed up as Elton John follows you around asking if you want to see his trick or treat

One last thing on Katrina

A friend on mine made a video of our trip which is available on his website. I would encourage you to watch it. http://www.megiddoplains.net/sight.php

We helped Carlos remove debris from his yard

I think this used to be a hotel in Pass Christian

This was in a condominium complex near the kitchen we worked at

What I learned in Mississippi

I just got back from my trip down south to help the victims of hurricane Katrina. It was an amazing experience and I am having difficulty sharing how much I learned. The funny thing is that I almost didn't go at the last minute when my friend Darren who invited me to go on the trip backed out. He was the only person I knew and I wasn't keen on the idea of spending several days with people I had never meant. But God had a bigger plan for me and so I went and I am glad I took the risk.

My team was great and despite varying personalities and backgrounds we got along very well. I bussed down with a group of people from several Christian Missionary Alliance churches in Indiana. I would say about half the team were college students and the other half a little older. Everybody worked hard and nobody complained. There were no selfish agendas and everybody was flexible. It was amazing to see how we all worked so well together. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was part of a team, a part of something bigger than myself. And while I was only with these people for a few days, I somehow feel a deep spiritual connection with them. People in the church often talk about community and this weekend I experienced it in a very real way.

Before the trip, I thought I was going La. But instead we went to Gulfport Mississippi. We worked with an organization called PRC made up of several Christian volunteers from all over North America. We stayed at the navy base which was kind of cool. They took very good care of us and we ate like kings. We slept in a building with over 1000 other volunteers mostly from the Red Cross but also from the church of scientology. I was hoping to see Tom Cruise with them but apparently he had other things going on and couldn't volunteer.

The first day, half our team helped restock and clean a supply tent and the other half of us went to help clear debris from the local resident's property. The rest of the trip we helped run a makeshift soup kitchen in a town called Pass Christian which was one of the hardest hit spots in the state. We also went into the neighborhoods near the kitchen to help clean properties.

It was hard work hauling trees and rubble from people's property. For those that know me, you understand that manual labor is not really my thing so to speak. But through much prayer I was able to carry my weight and felt like I had accomplished something at the end of the day.

The next few days we worked in Pass Christian, preparing and serving food. It was actually a lot of fun. I even learned how to make hush puppies. It was there that I think our team really began to bond. We served food to people who were from the neighborhood and to the workers that were helping get the area cleaned up.

It's almost impossible to describe the devastation I saw in that town. New Orleans got all the news but this part of Mississippi was hit just as hard by the winds and the sea. Whole neighborhoods were gone with nothing left but a few foundations to houses that used to be there. The wreckage left me in awe of the power that destroyed the city.

The local residents were very grateful for our help. On one of my breaks from serving food I met a couple who lived in the area. They had stayed in their house during the hurricane and about half there house was destroyed by the storm. They were still living there and making due with what they had left. The man's name was Bill and he was scheduled to have knee surgery this week. His house is destroyed and now he will be unable to work or do much to help clean up the house because of his surgery. His wife Pat works part time and is going to take care of him but the doctor wants her to have neck surgery herself. Despite their troubles, they maintained a good spirit and are just happy to have someone willing to sit and talk to them.

I noticed that their story was not unusual and that many of the hurricane victims had large issues that they were already facing before the storm hit. It makes me wonder if there was a divine conspiracy to bring Christian volunteers into their lives to address some of these other needs on top of helping them rebuild their homes.

The last day I met a lady who had lost her home in the storm. She told me that she was helping her neighbors clear their yards because she had nothing left to do at her house and she didn't want to just sit around. At first I thought I heard her wrong but here was a woman who had lost everything and she was serving other people. Amazing.

What still strikes me is the enormous scope of the task. We worked very hard but I felt like all we did was scoop one spoonful of water out of the ocean. I really wanted to stay and do more because there is so much that still needs to be done. What I had to learn was that God was in control of providing the workers. He sent us for one weekend to help. I have to trust that he is going to send other workers to do the work that we couldn't get to. And actually, I could see that already happening as I was down there. People from all over the country were helping out.

One older lady named Marge drove down from Michigan all by herself and was sleeping in a church parking lot. She came down to the soup kitchen to help cook and serve food both days we were there. When I asked her how long she was going to stay, she told me she would be there as long as God wanted her to be there. At first I felt guilty that I wasn't staying longer. Most volunteers were there for at least a week. Then, I realized that the work wasn't about me and that I was only there to play a small role in a larger play. I learned that there was no way our team could solve all this community's problems, but that God had called his entire church into action and if each of us responded the work will get done.

Another thing that struck me was how alive I felt while I was there. I sensed that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. Dare I say it was fun and exciting to be in the midst of so much suffering? I almost felt like I was having too much enjoyment from serving people that I forgot to be compassionate and share in their pain. I'm not sure this makes sense but before the trip I thought my best gift would be empathy and the ability to listen and take on these people's burdens but I didn't cry the entire time I was there. I hope I didn't get caught up in what I was doing to not have my heart broken for the people of the town. Or maybe that's okay because I was supposed to haul debris and slice apples because that's what they needed.

The last thing I wrestled with was the idea of coming back home to the real world. I feel like my work down there was the real world and that what I do in Lansing is not. Shouldn't it be the other way around? My first inclination is to jump in the car and head back to help out again next weekend. Or maybe wait for another natural disaster and help those victims. But on my way to work today I prayed that God would reveal the pain and suffering that is happening in my hometown so I wouldn't have to travel 14 hours to help. Down there the suffering was so obvious and immediate. Here it is concealed and swept under the rug by my daily routine. I trust that God will provide me additional opportunities to serve.

I know this has been a really long post but I had a lot on my mind and it is tough to share it all in only a couple paragraphs. I hope to have some pictures available later that I will post on the site.