Family

Over the holidays I was able to spend quite a bit of time with my family. It was nice to see them but somehow something was missing this year. I am not sure if it was my attitude or what but my expectations fell short during Christmas. I sense that my Mom had the same feelings. My Brother's divorce played a role I think and I was reminded that divorces impact the entire family. This was our first year without his wife and step children and while it was cheaper to not have to buy them gifts I missed having a big group of people around. But more than that I can tell Vince is not doing well being on his own. Unlike myself, he has never had to live very long without a women in his life. (I think maybe he and I overcompensate for each other in this area.) Anyways, I worry about him and my Mom worries about him. Compound that with the fact that my nephews are making poor choices lately and it makes it difficult to have the Thomas Kincaid family Christmas. Both Jacob and David are immensely talented and smart and primed to rise above the status quo and it is frustrating to watch them make mistakes. I so want them to see the big picture and realize the consequences of their actions but my words seem to fall flat. It's like they live and think in an entirely different worldview; one that scares me but apparently doesn't raise any alarms with them at all. Then add to the list my Stepsister Tina who is struggling to find a job and having a tough time coping and the weight of my family's misfortune took it's toll on celebrating Christmas.

Finally after Christmas, I was able to relax and enjoy the family a little more. My Stepdad and I were able to go to Michigan basketball game which was fun. When he and I go the games we get a chance to talk the whole way there and I enjoy that. Then my nephew David came to watch the U of M game with me in Lansing which was a terrible game but a great time hanging out with him. He likes coming to Lansing and I always try to make it a resting place away from the rest of things in life. A couple nights ago my Mom and I met downtown to view President Ford's body. But once we were down there, we realized it was a 6 hour wait in line and decided we needed to sleep that night more than we needed to stand in line. It was the right decision but I wish I could have had that time to talk with her and catch up one on one. Maybe later this month. I guess I write all this to say that even though my family doesn't always seem to function like I wish it would, they are still family and that's enough for me.