Well it has only been about 10 days since I gave up TV and I am going through withdrawal. Sure the shaking and blurry vision has gone away but I am anxious, irritable and curse more than normal. Then again I experienced many of these same symptoms while I was watching TV. This was especially true when it came to the Steelers.
I thought that giving up TV would free up more time and make me more productive. Instead I have tried just about everything I can think of to fill my time and procrastinate from the important things that need to be done. I have discovered that it is not TV but laziness that is my main foe instead. Even if I gave up the internet, computer games, talking to friends or even reading, I would take up something as lame as kite flying to avoid doing laundry, paying my bills or praying.
In lieu of TV I have tried filling my time by reading and I recently picked up a book by Henri Nouwen. It is actually a book I had bought a couple years ago but never read. (I have several such books.) In his book he talks about loneliness and how we will do anything to avoid being alone. Even when we are by ourselves we have to have the radio or TV on or a book to read; anything to avoid just sitting alone with our thoughts because of what we will learn about ourselves.
I have found this to be especially true over the past few days. When the TV was on I did not have to think about all my shortcomings or past hurts or unfulfilled expectations. Mind you, I was just playing pretend and I have been dragging these issues with me all along. Now, without TV as a barrier, I have had to come face to face with myself. It has been a struggle because I do not really like what I am learning. My job is not as fulfilling as it once was. People I care about let me down. I make foolish decisions. I have missed many opportunities because I am too cautious. The future is unpredictable. All these things are hard to except but I am experiencing a sense of freedom by facing these facts instead of avoiding them.
This process has been scary and revealing but much needed and long overdue. So while maybe I still have a pile of laundry on the floor, dishes in the sink and I procrastinate as much as before, my time is not being wasted as much as I thought.
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2 comments:
I love reading about the emerging fetzer in these blogs. What therapy. You are indeed a rebel to give up the idiot box my friend. I gave up cable 2 years ago and haven't missed it (minus Law & Order). We have a tv with an antenae, but it only gets 6 stations, and three are religious, one is WB and the other two don't come in well... I still don't have time to read the book I bought last year. i think for me it's about priorities and sticking to them. I still can't seem to do this for more than 2 days, I think I'll blog about that next?
JMak
I think perhaps we need to on another trip, how does Hawaii sound, we could scout you a place to live, (near the airport and the beach), we could look for a job for you, maybe a sand quality inspector...that would be taking a chance.
Seriously, I understand a bit of what you are talking about, we all fill in our time with stuff distracts us from what's really important. But giving up TV, right before March Madness?????
God Bless...
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