Monday, December 05, 2005
Stuck
I just found out a good friend of mine is planning to get married. I am happy for her but why is it that other people's good news reminds me of the void of good news in my own life? As I lay in bed I kept thinking that I wish I had some new exciting things to share with someone but when I look at my life there isn't really much going on. Other people are getting married, moving to new cities, have new jobs, are part of church plants, having kids, etc. Me? I am stuck in the same old same old. It's like things just stopped a few years ago and I can't make the kind of decisions that allow me to take hold of what life has to offer. I can't seem to commit to the women I date and then regret when things don't work out. I can't muster the courage the quit my job but then complain about how bored and unfulfilling it is. I can't bring myself to look for a new church even though I know I've outlasted my service there. I can't invest in new friendships but then wish I had some single guy friends to hang out with. I can't bring myself to get my finances together to buy a house despite the fact that I am sick of my crappy apartment. So this morning I woke up and prayed for strength to step through the doors that God opens for me. I want the good things of life that I see other people experiencing. But for some reason I keep avoiding them.
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9 comments:
Fetz,
The temptation to reply is just too great. What a gut wrenching honest post man!
One question: When you said the word "can't" did you really mean "won't?"
Not judging, just asking... If you really meant "won't" then it's time to risk... you're worth it.
Jason
Forget Don, he's full of crap! Move to Chicago! Ok...even if you don't move here, sounds like a good time to visit...
Fetz!
I don't presume to know what you're feeling. I just feel for ya'. I have a lot of the stuff you seem to want, but there are still times I don't "feel" like anything is going in the right direction. I know that I can't rely on what I feel becuase I am an "emotional rollercoaster"! So, I trust in what I know when my feelings are telling me something depressing or sad. If I rely on the Truth then, eventually the feelings come into line. Remember, God has strted a good work in you and He is faithful to comlpete it! (It's the waiting that is hard)
I started my own blog. Please take a look at it; I would love your feed back.
www.kiddsplace.blogspot.com
Yeah well fetz, I end up hanging out with a woman who drags me to a ballet, who I enjoy her friendship but would marry at a drop at a hat. She won't date me (which I really don't blame her) and complains that she can't find a guy to me. Short answer I get your post
And I'm an idiot
What's worse: Having a mullet or being the friend of someone with a mullet but not saying anything?
"Do you know where we can get something to eat?" X asked the cop...standing outsid the Chicago McDonalds...
Your transparency alone is a testatment to the courage you already have in your soul, Jeff.
And in my 12 year friendship with a man some call Fetz I've never known him as someone that doesn't take risks or make big moves in life, relationally or otherwise.
I've known a lot of college friends that dreamed of being in politics but then ended up never really trying (and you've done it from DC to Lansing -- neither place being one that I'd want to live -- but you did it ... that's an accomplishment).
I've known a lot of people that moved to places and never met new friends... but you have forged life-long connections with people at these new places... friends for life. I am one of them.
We'll always have Chippers in Ipswich, Mass, bud. Even though they closed the place down... you're still open for business.
-DD
ps - Don and Matt are BOTH full of crap. Move over here to the lakeshore where everyone in Lansing comes for vacation weekends anyway. Why drive to the fun when you can live in at the fun?
(waving hands) Gentlemen! (putting a cyber apple pie and cup of coffee on the table in front of Fetz) I think your best bet is Chicago, Dearest, with me being "domestic" and all.
Heidi may be "domestic" now but none of us believe Matt has truly "domesticated" you
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