Friday, May 06, 2005

Very Bad Movies

Derek's blog has a recent post on the best movies of the past 30 years. This got me to thinking about my favorite movies and I thought I would come up with my own list. But instead of my favorites, I decided to write about the 10 worst movies. The only criteria I gave myself was that I had to actually suffer through at least a portion of the movie. This excludes such classics as Ishtar, Waterworld, Leonard Part 6 and Kazaam from the list. The hardest part about this list was limiting it to only 10 movies. Without further ado, here is my list:

1. Pulp Fiction I have no idea why this appears on many people's list of favorites. It was nothing but pointless violence. Unfortunately, a whole genre was created out of it.

2. Pokemon2 The artwork was terrible and the plot was incomprehensible. Whoever marketed this crap was a genius.

3. The Crying Game The climax of the story (no pun intended) is when the main character realizes that the girl he is dating is not really a girl. If that's your thing, you might enjoy the movie but it made me want to throw up.

4. October Sky I saw this movie on a date and it was the longest, most boring movie ever made. It has something to do with a kid, a rocket and a mining town or something. I think we turned it off half way through but it seemed like it took a lifetime.

5. Bowling for Columbine I had no idea what the movie was about and got dragged to it by my friend Andrea. I still haven't forgiven her. Nothing but lies and clever editing. I made her leave early.

6. 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag I saw this movie for free. Thank God because I would hate to think I wasted money on it. It had Joe Pesci in it but even he couldn't save this debacle.

7. Transylvania 65000 This movie was supposed to be funny. I never laughed. Not even a chuckle. It was one of Michael Richard's (Kramer) earliest movies but even he wasn't funny.

8. Ready to Wear Wow this movie was bad. I saw it with my friend CJ and still wonder why we picked it. It had Lots of stars and plots lines and even a naked pregnant woman but there no point to the movie whatsoever.

9. American Beauty It is hard to believe that this movie won best picture. It was nothing but propaganda for drug use and pedophilia.

10. Rocky V How do you ruin the Rocky series? Have Tommy Morrison star in this film. I love Rocky but I think the makers of this movie took a few too many shots to the head filming the earlier Rockies.

4 comments:

Derek said...

I'd have to say that "The World According to Garp" with Robin Williams (1982) has to be one of the worst movies ever.

And the only thing that saved "Cabin Boy" (1994) from being the worst movie ever was David Letterman's cameo appearance.

kyperman said...

I agree with most of these, with the exception of October Sky, I enjoyed this movie a great deal.

DAKOTARANGER said...

My worst movies: Anything with Barb Strisand, anything that tries to make Christians look evil. Most Clint Eastwood (He is the antithisis of John Wayne who celebrated the greatness of America.)

Farnhiedt 451-a movie about burning books written by a Marxist claiming that it was the "conservatives" who were responible, but he failed to reconize the Cultural Revolution in China.

Ferhient 911-So full of fertillizer that you couldn't put on a wheat field.

Air Force One- Glenn Closes character was too weak for a VP. If it was a Conservative VP would signed the paper removing the president IF liberal looking for a way to kill the Pres (here's to you LBJ)

Full-monty I never saw it and won't I don't like looking at my self in the mirror why would I like to look at other fat men in mirror.

Cold Mountain- The hero of a movie who breaks his oath to his army during a time of war.

Acpolys Now-AKA John Kerry's trip in Cambodia

GI Jane-show me a woman who can make the SEALs and I will show you an east german woman.

Anonymous said...

Wow I am so suprised that the awful movie we watched together wasn't on your top ten. ( I can not remeber the name) but it terrible. Let me know if you remember the name.